Responsibilities

Responsibilities are what make a role real. A role without responsibilities is just a label — it doesn't tell you what to actually do. Responsibilities describe the actions that move a role's purpose forward.

A role can have one responsibility or several. Together, they should cover what it takes to achieve the purpose.

The form: verb + ing

Responsibilities always start with a verb ending in -ing. This is because they describe something ongoing — a practice, not a one-off task.

The difference is subtle but matters: "-ing" communicates that this is something you keep doing, not something you check off once and forget.

What a good responsibility looks like

A good responsibility is:

• Concrete. You can picture yourself doing it.

• Actionable. You know when you've done it.

• Focused. It covers one thing, not a bundle of unrelated tasks.

"Adding shared commitments and reviewing the upcoming calendar"

You know exactly what this looks like. Open the calendar. Add the appointment. Look at what's coming up.

"Ensuring we're on top of everything"

This is vague. What does "on top of everything" mean? When have you done it?

One purpose can have multiple responsibilities

A role's purpose is the destination. Responsibilities are the paths that get you there.

Example:

Purpose: "Stay active and healthy together" Responsibilities:

• Planning shared fitness activities

• Tracking progress on fitness goals

• Trying new physical activities together

Each responsibility tackles a different angle. Together they cover what "staying active together" actually looks like in practice.

The one rule: never put a timeframe in a responsibility

Responsibilities say what you do. The frequency — how often — belongs on the check.

Good:

"Reviewing and redistributing chores based on current capacity"

Clean. The rhythm is set by the check, not the text.

Not good:

"Reviewing and redistributing chores each week based on current capacity"

Now the frequency lives in two places — the text and the check — and they can disagree.

Responsibilities vs purpose

The purpose says why. Responsibilities say how.

• Purpose: "Keep shared schedules aligned"

• Responsibility: "Adding shared commitments and reviewing the upcoming calendar"

They're connected, but they're not the same thing. The purpose is the goal. The responsibility is the action that moves toward it.

Things to avoid

• One-off tasks. Book the holiday. Buy the gift. These are to-dos, not ongoing responsibilities.

• Vague intentions. "Being more mindful about money" — what does this look like in practice?

• Stacking everything into one. If one responsibility tries to cover too much, break it into separate ones.

• Burying a frequency in the text. Let the check own the rhythm.